


I Do It All For You.

by Aldyce



Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Breakup, Breakup scene, Canon Compliant, Ep 11 Rewrite, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Type knows about Lhong, Type's POV throughout ep 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23526652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aldyce/pseuds/Aldyce
Summary: Type had never been able to control his emotions. He had been so angry for so long, it felt normal.But he was smart, smarter than most realised and when it came to Tharn there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do. Even if it meant destroying his own heart.He would do it. He would do it all for Tharn.
Relationships: Tharn Kirigun/Type (TharnType)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

He is unsteady as he walks home. He had been so sure of himself, had been so angry at this kid who was trying to steal Tharn away from him. But then the ground had shifted under his feet and nothing was the same. Tar had never been his enemy, he was a victim, a victim of the cruel world they lived and a victim of one evil man’s plan.  
All it had taken where a couple words and foe had become friend and friend had turned into a deadly adversary. He hadn’t needed to see the video to believe it, he had known as soon as Tar had said the words. How could he not when he had seen that very same pain staring back at him in the mirror since he was a child.  
Tar had never wanted to break up with Tharn. Lhong had orchestrated the whole thing. He had lied and manipulated. He had destroyed Tar’s life to keep Tharn all to himself. He would try to do the same to Type now.  
So much pain and he knew it was only going to get worse. Lhong was too smart, he acted without any remorse or feeling for the people he destroyed. Beating him wouldn’t be easy. He would have to let Lhong win, lose everything and when Lhong thought he had won, then he could strike.  
He refused to let him win. He couldn’t, for Tar. For himself. 

He arrived home an hour before he expected Tharn back. This was the hard part now, he had made his plan. He knew what he would have to do, knew it would have to look real. No matter the mess his mind was right now, he needed to control it. He needed to play his part in this game of love and lies. He would play and he would win, he knew he would because it wasn’t just for Tar or for himself. He was doing this for Tharn. 

“Took you long enough to return.” He was already waiting at the desk when Tharn stepped through the door. He was later than he had expected. Half of him wished he had been later still. “Had a tryst with your ex-boyfriend again?” He would see Tharn hesitant to approach, scared of the fight Type was obviously trying to start, it killed him but he knew it had to be done.  
“I had band practice. If you don’t believe me, ask Lhong.” Just hearing that Tharn was with Lhong makes him see red but he needs the anger. He lets it fuel him.  
“There’s no need. I believe you.” He can see Tharn’s surprise at his words and he wished that could be the end of the conversation. Because he did, he trusted Tharn. Despite all that was going on, he knew deep down that Tharn would never do anything to hurt him. He didn’t deserve him. “Because i just met your ex-boyfriend today. Are you stunned? I only met with your Tar.”  
“Tar’s not mine.”  
“But you’re his. Don’t you realize at all?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“There’s nothing to interpret. He told me you belong to him.” He wanted to scream the truth, the words in his mind loud and desperate. He told me so much more than that. Told me things he should have had to tell anyone. Ever. “And no matter what, he’s going to take you away from me.” He’ll try to take you, because he has no choice. He never had a choice. None of us do.  
At his words, Tharn grabs his hand, tries to calm him down. But he can’t allow himself to be calm, to leave his anger. Because the anger is the only thing protecting him for the fear and once he lets himself fall into that hole, he knows he will never climb out again.  
“Type, you know that I…”  
“I’m not finished.” He can’t let Tharn explain because he knows. And he needs to not know, needs to be angry, to be rude. He was so angry for so many years, it feels almost natural now. He lets himself slip back into that headspace. If he is mad, he won’t be hurt.  
“Don’t fucking interupt me. That kid. He said that you still love him. And that he loves you very, very much.” He knows his words will only cause pain, to Tharn and to himself but he feels he has to say them. Tharn deserves to know he is loved. Tar deserves his love to be known. He can handle his own pain, because pain is just anger and anger is what he needs right now. “So much that he’s willing to be outed as a boyfriend stealer. Because he doesn’t want to lose you.” He never wanted to leave you and neither do I. But just like him, I don’t have a choice. “He said all this time, he’s never forgotten you.” Because he will never be able to forget, what happened will haunt him and so will you. “He’s been dying to return to you. He was even fake crying when he said that to me. Poor him.” His voice is slipping, his anger weakened by the truth of his words. In the midst of all the lies and half truths, he feels so sorry for that poor boy.  
“Type. I still love you…”  
“Shut up! I never said you could speak.” It was all starting to unravel. He was breaking, Tharn was so close and he just wanted to fall into his arms. Let Tharn hold him, tell him it would be okay and he would beg Tharn to never let him go. His jaw hurt from the effort of holding it all in. He couldn't be weak, he needed to be angry and cruel. And he would, because it was for Tharn. And he would do anything for Tharn, even hurt him.  
“You know? Your old flame is so full of shit! He was crying and shedding tears. Saying he wants you back. Does he see himself a novel heroine… and think I’ll give back his ex just because he begs and cries? I won’t lose anything easily.” And he won’t lose. He can’t lose because losing would mean losing Tharn. He can never lose Tharn and so he will have to let him go.  
“A single punch in his face is not satisfying enough.”  
“You punched Tar?”  
“Why? You’re worried about him?” He hates that for a moment the anger is real. That even now, the very thought of Tharn worrying for someone else kills him. “Are you worried about him that much? Are you blind?” He was mad at Lhong, of course he was, but he knew that deep down, Lhong wasn’t the only one he was mad at. He was mad at Tharn for letting his friend manipulate him for so many years, for leaving Type to deal with the mess.  
“He’s also a man. A single punch won’t kill him.” He hadn’t hit the boy, but even if he had, he knew the pain would be nothing compared to what he dealt with daily.  
“Please calm down, Type. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to get into trouble.” Tharn was good. He had always known that, he was too good, too trusting. Naive. It was the reason he loved him but also the reason he hated him sometimes.  
“You’re so full of shit too! Admit you’re worried about him. And yeah, this is how I am. Hot tempered. Vulgar. Impulsive. Just a scum who bullies a kid. But no one puts themselves in my shoes. No one understands me at all!” He wanted to scream. To cry so his tears could wash the images behind his lids. The video of Tar. The disgust in his eyes. A football left forgotten at the foot of an old chair. He just wanted to bury his face in Tharn’s neck and make it all go away. He just wanted to be happy. Hadn’t he deserved it?  
“I understand you, Type. but you need to listen, I want to explain about last night.” Tharn had managed to wrap his arms around him now. It was all he wanted but he couldn’t handle it. Not when he was so close to breaking.  
“Let me go.”  
“I love you.”  
“Let me go.”  
“I love you, Type.” He loves Tharn. Of course he does. How could he not but it is that love that means he has to push him away.  
“I said let go. I don’t want to listen. It’s over. I told that kid you are not his! You are mine! And don’t you meet him again. Promise me.” If only it were that simple. He knows Tharn’s promise wouldn’t change anything but he still needs to hear it. Needs something to hold the broken fragments of his heart together. Just a little longer.  
“I promise I won’t see Tar again.”  
“Look me in the eye and promise.”  
“I promise. I won’t have anyone but you. Believe me Type.” He had been avoiding meeting Tharn’s eyes since he had walked into the door. And this had been the reason. As Tharn’s eyes held his, all he could see in their depths was love. Pain and fear but so much love. It was devastating. “Please.” Tharn had never begged him for anything before. It was the last blow and he knew he was starting to crumble.  
“Mark your words.” And before Tharn could stop him he was racing for the door. Desperate to be out of the room before he fell apart.  
“Where are you going?”  
“Somewhere I won’t see your face.” Somewhere you won’t see mine.

He walked for an hour after leaving the apartment. He was lost, no one to go, on the verge of falling but unable to let go.  
His fists itched with the need to hit something so he called Champ. His friend didn’t ask too many questions and for that he was thankful. And before too long, he was hitting the punching bag at Champ’s usual boxing gym. He wasn’t sure how long he hit the bag but after a while, his strength started to fail. His rage was no longer enough to keep him going. With one last hit for good measure, he walked back to the changing room. He was covered in sweat and his hands were red under the gloves and wrap. He acted mechanically as he stripped and stepped under the hot water. He let it run over him for a minute before the tears started. They joined the water and ran down his face and down into the drain. The changing room was empty and there was no one to hear him sob.  
Finally the body jerking sobs stopped. He turned off the water. Wiping away tears and water indiscriminately with his towel.  
Slowly he got dressed and pulled out his phone to call Lhong. He had fought with Tharn. He wanted to drink. Would he meet him?

“Type slow down. You’ll get drunk early.”  
“Don’t stop me.” He wished he could really just drink and forget it all. But this was important, he wasn’t here to forget. He was here for one final piece of evidence. He already knew Lhong was guilty but if he was going to go through with his plan he needed to see it for himself. He couldn't have the shadow of a doubt. And so, the game was on. “I’m acting like this because of your shitty friend.”  
“Come on. Trust him when he says there’s nothing going on.”  
“You want me to believe someone who lied to me?”  
“He probably didn’t want to upset you. You know how caring he is. Maybe he thought you’d overthink if you knew about it. Besides. He only met with Tar, not sleeping with him.” He was glad his arms could barely lift the glass in his hand because if he had more strength, he would have punched Lhong out cold right then and there.  
“First No, and now you. Am I so bad that nobody takes my side at all?”  
“I didn’t mean it that way. What do we do now? If what you said is true, then this is all Tar’s fault.” Lhong’s trap was an obvious one. They were both playing the same game, except neither knew the true extent of what they played for.  
“You just realized that?” His role was an easy one, like with Tharn, the anger was easy to summon. After all, being angry was also second nature to him.  
“Well… you have to understand. Your personality is the exact opposite of his. Anybody would think you’re the bad guy. I mean, look at you. You punch an 11th grader. You’re lucky no teachers were around and no one taped you. Or you’d be screwed. Calm down. The more you play his game, the more you lose.”  
Despite the obvious irony of Lhong’s words, Type recognized the truth of them. He knew he was the bad guy but that was exactly why he would win. He had never bothered controlling his emotions, had never seen a reason to.  
“This is how I am. I’m always the bad guy anyway.” He had never shown restraint and therefore no one thought him capable of it but there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Tharn. This time he wouldn’t react first and think later. He was cold and calculating. Lhong would never see him as a threat and he would win. “He said he would accept me the way I am. And now he wants me to change.”  
“As Tharn’s bestest friend. I know he can accept you the way you are. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have given you his all. But you need to keep your cool. Because Nong Tar is cunning.” Type may have been playing a game, but so was Lhong. “I didn’t realize before that an innocent looking boy could be so evil.” If it wasn’t for the overwhelming need to punch Lhong in the face he could have laughed at his words. The boy really was working hard.  
“He also told me he wants his P’Tharn back.”  
“Have I been fooled all this time? And Tum said his brother is a goody two shoes.” Of course Lhong was never fooled. He had fooled them all. Everyone except for Type. He wouldn’t be fooled, not now, not anymore.  
“Both you and Tharn have been had.”  
“No matter how evil Tar is, or how much he cries and begs… if Tharn doesn’t return his feelings… it’s nothing more than a one-sided love.” If he knew it or not, Type figured that had been the first honest thing Lhong had ever said.  
“If he does, I’m going to break up with him.” Because after all, they both knew this was the only way this could end.  
“Don’t worry, he’ll never do something like that to you. He really loves you.”  
“I hope you’re right.” Of course, he knew he was. But he wished that he wasn’t because what had to happen next would destroy them both. 

He was far drunker than he had intended on being but he could still hold himself up and he hadn’t forgotten the reason for his drinking. The plan.  
Letting Lhong carry most of his weight he grumbled about wanting to go home. He was a little surprised that Lhong seemed to know where he was going, having only been here once but he guessed at this point, he shouldn’t be surprised by anything Lhong did.  
As they arrived in the corridor to his and Tharn’s room, he completely let his weight go so he was being dragged forwards by Lhong. 

The door opened seconds after Lhong knocked, almost as if Tharn had been waiting behind it for Type to come home. He looked worried as he opened the door but his face changed as soon as he saw Type sagged in Lhong’s arms.  
He worried that maybe Tharn started to suspect his friend but it wasn’t anger he could see on his face. It was jealousy. The realization made him smile a bit. He knew it most definitely wasn’t the time but he couldn’t help the warmth in his chest. The joy that Tharn still cared enough to get jealous.  
“Take your man back.”  
“Why is he with you?” If his jealousy had been somewhat concealed before, now Tharn made no effort to mask it.  
“You two were fighting. So I had to deal with him.” Tharn however had apparently already turned his attention back to Type.  
The whole point was to see how Lhong reacted to them being together and he had to admit, Tharn was making his work much easier for him.  
“Type.” He went willingly when Tharn tried to take him from Lhong’s arms. He pressed his face into Tharn’s neck, making himself comfortable as Tharn’s arms supported most of his weight. “Why is he wasted?” “Type.”  
“I already told you. Because you two were fighting; Can’t you just talk nicely?”  
“Thank you so much for bringing him back.” The hand Tharn was running up and down his back was soothing and he just wanted to sink into the touch, let the pain be washed away by Tharn’s capable hands. But of course, fate was cruel and it was at that moment, as Tharn’s attention was solely on him that he saw it. A drop in Lhong’s facade. It was just a second and then he was smiling happily once again but Type had seen it.  
“You’re welcome. Handsome Lhong is glad to be of service.” He wondered how many times Lhong had gone out of his way to do things for Tharn. Desperate to be noticed by his friend. “Be nice to each other, okay? Bye.” He was about to stop Lhong from leaving when tharn did it for him.  
“Lhong… Well… did Type… Tell you anything?” Okay it had served its purpose of keeping Lhong at the door but he didn’t particularly want to listen to whatever lies Lhong would spin so he decided it was time for drunk Type to wake up.  
Keeping his movements sluggish he reached up to grab Tharn’s face.  
“Mine… You are mine Tharn.” The effect of his words were instantaneous. Tharn’s smile was radiant and for a second, Lhong’s facade slipped. He was of course fast in cementing his mask back on but the cracks were visible.  
“You should take care of him first. Didn’t know he can be so cute when he’s drunk.” Tharn was listening to his friend anymore. His attention was solely on Type. Where it should be.  
“I’m yours, Type. Thanks so much for bringing him back. Let’s go.”  
“No problem. Bye.” Tharn was already closing the door. The door was about to slam shut in Lhong’s face when in the reflection of the window, Type caught sight of the man’s face. Just a second, before the closing door locked him out. He wasn’t upset. He was heartbroken. Type would recognise the look anywhere, there was no mistaking it's meaning. Lhong loved Tharn. He wanted him. It was all true, everything he had done. And that meant Type had no choice. There was no backing out now, no matter how bad it hurt. Tar deserved justice and Tharn deserved the truth. He would do it for Tharn.

He had never admitted it but now that the chance was gone he knew he had been holding onto that minuscle hope. That Tar had been lying after all. That none of this was real and he could just be happy. That he could stay in this bed as Tharn looked after him.  
There was no turning back now. He left the pain rise in his chest. Was this the last time he would be able to call this room home? He had no idea how long it would be until Lhong made his move and he would be forced to react.  
Keeping his eyes closed, he concentrated on the feeling of the cold cloth Tharn was running over his overheated skin. It felt nice.  
“I… Have always been yours, Type.”  
He wanted to reach out, stroke Tharn’s face. Tell him that he too belonged to Tharn. That he always did. But he knew that would be cruel, instead he had to stay still and silent as Tharn poured his heart out to him.  
“Don’t be stubborn. I’m trying to make you comfortable. You’re awful you know. You always drive me crazy whenever you want. When I saw Lhong hugging you… i was very jealous. I don’t mind you went out for a drink. But why did you go with another man? I know Lhong is my friend, but I’m so possessive of you. And Tar… don’t worry. Because that kid… doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. You’re the only one for me.”  
Only yesterday he would have prayed to hear Tharn say exactly that. Now, the words stabbed at his heart like knives. He couldn’t bear to listen to anymore he knew he would crawl into Tharn’s lap and beg for his forgiveness.  
“What are you rambling about? You woke me up.”  
“Sorry. So… How do you feel?”  
“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for his actions or what he was going to do but he knew he needed to apologize. He had caused so much hurt, would cause so much more before this was all over.  
“Why are you apologizing?”  
“For… exploding at you.”  
“Are you serious?” It hurt that Tharn didn’t believe his apology was sincere. He knew it was his fault. He had always been so defensive and rude. He had no idea why Tharn had stayed with him, he knew he had never deserved him. Had never been good enough to stand at his side.  
“Um. talking to Lhong made me realize… that I never really listen to you. I’ve always gotten mad at you. I don’t know why, but I’m frustrated. I feel awful. I don’t know how to explain my feelings.”  
He knew he was just making things harder in the long run but he needed to explain. He needed Tharn to understand, even if it was just for this night. Needed him to know that he did really love him.  
“Stop apologizing. I’m the one who should apologize.” Tharn was so good. Too good. He had nothing to apologize for. “I won’t see Tar again. Please forgive me.”  
“Tharn. Hug me.” He knew he shouldn’t do this. It would hurt more later but he couldn’t help it. Surely if this was their last night together it would hurt even more to not have spent it in Tharn’s arms. Couldn’t they just be happy one last night?  
“You… are drunk.”  
“I’m not drunk.” He really wasn’t, at least not as drunk as Tharn thought he was and he thought of not feeling Tharn’s arms around him one more time was tourture.  
“I guess what people say is true. Drunk people never admit they’re drunk.”  
“Jerk.” Tharn’s smile was like a soothing balm to his aching heart.  
“So… You forgive me, right?” Of course he did, he had forgiven Tharn for everything he had even done and everything he had yet to do. He didn’t need to ask for forgiveness because Tharn would always have it. He had already forgiven him but he was terrified to ask it for himself. Terrified that maybe this time, Tharn wouldn’t forgive him.  
“No. Not until you hug me.” As Tharn’s arms came around him, he felt as if a weight had been lifted. The tightness of his chest was replaced by Tharn’s warm body.  
“You’re such a tease.”  
Tharn was hesitant as he went to kiss him, it hurt. Had he really made Tharn think that he wouldn’t want him to kiss him? He knew he should stop this, just hug him and fall asleep. He would regret letting things go further. But how could he stop it. He had no idea what would happen. It could be a week before Lhong made his move. It could 3 days or this could be there last night together. He didn’t know if Tharn would ever forgive him for hurting him. Maybe he would go back to Tar. He knew he was risking it all and he had accepted that. He had accepted it because at the end of the day, it wasn’t about him. It was about Tharn. Everything he did, he did for him. For Tharn.  
But if there was a chance this was the last night he had by Tharn’s side, he couldn’t let his fears ruin it.  
“Forgive me.”  
“Um. your friend already defended you. You have a good friend.”  
“Lhong is the best friend I’ve ever had.” And that only made it worse. Not only would Tharn lose him, but he would lose his friend. The man he had thought was by his side since they were children. The man who was supposed to always be there for him but who had betrayed him in the worst way imaginable.  
He wanted to scream at the injustice of it all, at the cruelty.  
“If there’s a next time. I’m going to kill you.”  
“I promise.”  
As Tharn kissed him, he let all the thoughts vanish and focused on the feelings. Tharn’s lips on his neck, the weight of his body atop his, the beat of their hearts beating wildly together. In that instant it was only them and he made sure to enjoy it. To cherish Tharn while he still could. 

Tharn had easily fallen asleep with Type in his arms but Type had been able to close his eyes.  
Resigned to a sleepless night, he got up to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Tharn looked so peaceful, so beautiful as he slept. He sat by him, this is the image he wanted to carry with him.  
“You’ve made a promise. You promised.”  
Tharn had promised him that he loved him and it was that promise he clung to now. The desperate hope that when it was all done and finished, Tharn loved him and he would forgive him.  
He loved Tharn enough to leave him but he had to pray that Tharn could love him enough to let him come back.  
He leaned down, his lips hovering over his skin. He whispered the words, against Tharn’s face. Knowing he couldn’t hear him but desperate to stay silent.  
“I’m sorry. I love you.” He sealed his vow with a kiss before climbing back into bed. He didn’t sleep. But at least, with Tharn warm next to him, he was able to find some comfort.  
He didn’t know what tomorrow would hold, if he would be falling asleep in his bed this time tomorrow or if he would be cold and alone but no matter what he knew he would be strong. His love for Tharn would give him the strength. After all, all he did, he did for Tharn.


	2. To give it all up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had all been leading up to this point. He had been racing at full speed but had run out of road. The collision was impossible to avoid.   
> Lhong had played his hand, Type has no choice but to play his and hope that he can survive the hit.

He had known.

Of course he had. As soon as he had received the message, Type had known it was time. Lhong had made his move and he would have to react accordingly.

That didn’t mean it hurt any less to step into that room. To see Tharn on top of Tar. He had known something was coming but it still ripped his soul in half.   
Tharn was by his side in a flash. Begging him to listen, to understand but he couldn't face him. 

In this instant he would have given anything to have just one last day, an hour even. He thought he would be able to do this. Now he wasn’t so sure. Wasn’t sure if he could bear to walk away, wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to survive the pain. 

He needed a minute.

“It’s not what you think.” Tharn was at his side, pulling on his arm, desperate for him to listen but he already knew everything. He knew it was the end and there was nothing he could do. Lhong was behind him, watching his every move. 

He had already lost. 

“I can’t believe it.” 

He should have been ready. Should have prepared himself but he had been an idiot to think this wouldn’t destroy him. 

“You’re mistaken. There’s nothing between me and Tar.” Tharn was begging, his voice heavy with tears but still he couldn’t look at him.   
Because once he did, it would be real.   
And it would be over. 

“You win. Happy?” He could almost imagine Lhong’s smile at his words. The anger made him want to scream. Before the anger had helped keep the pain at bay but now it only fuelled it, made it worse. 

He knew nothing could make the pain go away. 

“I was a fool… to think that Tharn would never screw around. I was a fool… to think that men could change.” 

He had promised himself, had sworn that he would never let a man hurt him again but he had let Tharn love him, had fallen in love with Tharn. And now, it was destroying him.

“And I should’ve known better, that… in the end you’d screw him.” Turning to face Tharn for the first time since entering the room, he couldn’t breath from the stabbing feeling in his heart. 

He had promised to never say the words again. He had promised himself, had promised Tharn. All he wanted was to be able to keep that promise. To not have to watch the fear turn to pain in Tharn’s eyes. 

“Let’s break up, Tharn.” 

The effect was instantaneous.   
Like he had been hit, Tharn flinched. His heart shattering to mirror Type’s. He knew he was causing this pain. He had never wanted to be the source of Tharn’s pain, he only wanted to bring him joy but now that he had said the words there was no turning back. 

He knew the only thing he could do now was make sure it hadn’t been in vain.

“No, Type. I won’t break up with you. Please don’t say this. I won’t break up.” 

Of course Tharn wouldn’t let him go that easily. He wished, for once, Tharn would have just let him go without a fight.

“I won’t put up with it anymore. How do you think I feel? When I have to get possessive and jealous all the time. And I don’t want to play your ex-boyfriend’s game anymore. I’ve had enough.”   
Please Tharn. Don’t make me do this, don’t you realise how much I love you? How doing this is like ripping out my own heart? 

He couldn’t do this. It was too much, too hard.

“Hey, calm down. Type. It’s obviously the brat’s plan. Don’t take it out on Tharn.”

“What do you mean? What plan?” 

Lhong’s words shot through him like a bullet. The pain and blinding hot rage joining to form a constant ache. A fog of pain and regret that settled over his mind and made every thought torture. But it also distracted Tharn long enough for Type to break free from his hold and to make his escape.

He dreamed of how it could have been if Lhong hadn’t always been there in the shadows, playing them like puppets. They could have been so happy.   
He would have never of had to say those words, never of had to see the pain and tears on Tharn’s face.   
Never of had to feel his own heart shatter into a thousand pieces and be able to do anything about it.

“Stop being an easy target for manipulation.”   
His tone was bitter but it wasn’t anger that twisted his tongue. It was regret. Envy for the love and life he may never get the chance to enjoy.

“Type!”

He heard Tharn shout after him as he left but he didn’t hear footsteps behind him so he kept on walking. He couldn’t stop now, he was on autopilot and he still needed to get his stuff out of the room before he could break down.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been since he had left the hotel or how far behind him Tharn was. Moving as fast as he could he grabbed a bag and started throwing some of his most important possessions into it. He didn’t care enough to think about what he was grabbing, he didn’t even know where he would go. 

All he knew is that he had to be gone before Tharn showed up. 

He was just about to make his leave when he heard a voice behind him. He hadn’t heard him arrive and now he had no way to avoid this conversation. 

“What are you doing?”   
“Leaving this room, of course. So I won’t stand in your way when you bring new boyfriends here.”

“I won’t break up with you, Type. I’ll never do it.” 

Tharn grabbed his hands in his, making it impossible for him to turn away. He knew Tharn wouldn’t make this easy for him, but didn't he realise that by prolonging the inevitable he was only making it worse for the both of them. 

“But I will.” 

He knew Tharn would never leave him but that is why he knew he could.   
If he didn’t break up with Tharn this time, maybe the next wouldn’t be in his control and as hard as this was, he knew he would never survive Tharn being the one to end it.   
He would break up with Tharn because it was the only way he could protect him. He would and he already had. Now he just needed to get the hell out of here because he gave into Tharn’s touch and was never able to break free.   
Before he could change his mind he turned away, ripping his hands free of Tharn’s hold. However before he could make a single step in the direction of the door, Tharn was behind him, arms around his chest, holding him against his body. 

He could feel the hectic betting of his heart against his back. The tremors of his arms as he held him. 

“Type. I didn’t sleep with Tar. Please believe me.”   
He couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. Tharn’s arms around him had always made him feel so safe but now it only reminds him of all he stood to lose. He can feel Tharn’s breath on his neck, broken with sobbs and he knows Tharn will never let go.   
Not if he doesn’t force him to.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”  
“But you know, don’t you? Tar was the one who texted you. So how could you believe him?”  
“I know it was a set up.” 

He couldn’t explain to Tharn, not now, not yet but he couldn’t bear Tharn thinking this was his fault. 

“Then why…” 

As long as he had known him Tharn had always been so strong and sure of himself. He had held Type when he was scared, had stood by his side, an immovable force keeping him safe. He had never thought he could sound so broken and small. The words shot right through him like bullets, ripping his beaten heart to shreds. He knew his instant would haunt him for as long as he lived.

“But I won’t take it anymore.”   
Tharn’s arms around him made him feel whole, even now he knew he didn’t deserve them. Didn’t deserve the comfort Tharn had always been so fast to provide him. Breaking free of the embrace, the cold and emptiness that hit him as soon as he was free almost knocked him to the ground. 

Tharn had always been the one holding him together.   
Now, without him, his broken heart crumbled into a thousand pieces. Each shard begging to be back in Tharn’s embrace.

“This time, it’s a set up. But which of your exes will come cry to you next time? First, P’San was messing with your head. Now your old flame keeps bothering me. So who is it going to be next? Do you want me to lose my goddamn mind?” 

Lhong would never give up. The attacks would keep coming, he knew that. This was the only way to end this. He knew that, he did, but all his certainty was shattered by Tharn’s words. 

“But I haven’t done anything.” 

He welcomed the pain that threatened to bring him to his knees. He deserved it. He deserved so much worse for causing such pain in Tharn’s voice. For causing him to sound so broken. He would never forget this, it would haunt him and that would be his punishment. Each tears that fell down Tharn’s beautiful face an additional knife in his chest. 

“That’s why I’m telling you. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be a joke anymore. Look at me. I’m a man. Do you think I want to be like this. To constantly get jealous? To keep telling everyone you’re mine?”  
I love you Tharn. So much. Don’t you see how it destroys me to do this? Can you see my heart break?  
“I’m fed up. Each day, I hate myself more and more.”  
I wish I didn’t love you so much, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to do this and maybe we wouldn’t be broken…   
“And if we have to break up someday… isn’t it better to do it now? Before we get in deeper. Before I lose myself more than I already have.”

He desperately wished they had had more time. Just one more hour, one more day. But he knew each minute spent with Tharn’s arms around him only made it hurt more. 

“Please let me go.” 

He knew he couldn’t do this alone. He could never walk away if Tharn didn’t let him. He would beg if he had to. He would do anything for Tharn, that much he had already proven.

“Type… I love you. Please give me one more chance. I promise. I won’t hurt you anymore. I won’t make you cry. So please don’t leave me. Don’t break up with me.”

“Don’t break up with me.”

No matter how bad it had hurt before, nothing could have prepared him for this. His chest was so tight, he thought he was dying. A dull thud echoed around the room as Tharn’s knees hit the ground. And with them, the last shards of Type’s heart were turned to dust.   
As Tharn begged for him to stay, begged him not to leave him, he knew this was worse than death. Worse than any other pain. Tharn was the sun and with his light nothing could live.   
He couldn't face him, couldn’t bear to watch as his whole world shattered before him. 

“Don’t do this, Tharn. Don’t make me give up everything.”

Tharn was his world. He knew he would give in. He was already broken, nothing else mattered, only Tharn.   
Maybe he could just let himself fall. Crash to the floor and let Tharn hold him. Surely it would be worth it just to feel Tharn’s arms around him one more time.   
Nothing Lhong could do would be worse than this.  
As Tharn cried into his stomach, arms clinging to his legs he knew that hold was the only thing keeping his standing. The minute Tharn let go he would be completely broken.

“Type. I will eat spicy food. I will eat raw food. I won’t be picky anymore. I will wake up early to wake you up every morning. I will learn how to cook for you.”

“But please don’t leave me. Don’t break up with me, Type.” 

He didn’t want Tharn to eat spicy food. Didn’t want him to eat raw food, or stop being picky. He didn’t want him to wake up early or cook for him.   
He loved Tharn because he was picky. Because he didn’t cook. He loved Tharn for all those things because that is what made him Tharn. 

With all he had, every broken shard of his beaten heart, he knew he loved him.   
He couldn’t stop the sobbs that racked through his body now because he loved Tharn and he knew there was only one thing to do.   
The pain didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing except Tharn. Tharn had always been the only thing that mattered. 

He had caused so much pain, he couldn’t stop now. He had to fix it.

“Everything I do… I do for you, Tharn.” 

Every cell in his body screamed as he pulled Tharn’s arms off his body and watched as his love fell to the ground.  
His hand shook as he wiped the tears from his face. He knew there would be many more to follow but that didn’t matter. He would welcome the pain because his pain was love and if it was all he could give Tharn right now, he would give it all. Each tear a broken plea that he would get the chance to make this right. A silent prayer that this wasn’t really goodbye. 

Willing his aching body to move, he kneeled down before the broken shell of the man he loved more than anything.   
There were no words he could say. Nothing to make it better. So he just looked. Eyes red, checks stained in tears and mouth open in a broken sob, he was beautiful. 

His goodbye was silent, a thousand regrets and confessions in a single touch. His hand was wet when he pulled back, he didn’t look back as he rose to his feet and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please leave a comment <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.  
> I could write a second part of this with the two final scenes of the episode so let me know if that is something you would want to read.


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